urrmm.. a lot many things, that's generally the way we do things, we have a lot of ideas and brainstorming takes place, then starts the process of elimination and finally one is able to look at one's decisions.
There are plans definitely, ideas... crazy ideas that need to be sorted, over a large period of time I have denied myself for what I am, and so I have not evolved at all in that sense. I have just grown in age and physique, and it's not even that great!
Cutting short the beating around the bush, I have decided that, I need to look closer at myself and try understanding my need, also start shaping up for the future, this blog, my inadvertent haircut and such other things are only pointers to the change that I wish to bring in myself.
Sometimes, however, I fear it all, like after my last post a few things happened to me, I had a kind of in the dumps day as I lost my favorite firki, spilled water on myself, wasn't able to click a simple picture of a butterfly(which I generally manage to do with some patience), stubbed my toes, hit my hand accidentally against things. If I were a believer of such things as omens, I would have had backed off this entire idea of evolving myself, it's almost as if these omens mean that I should not go ahead!
Then again I have denied myself too long, I want to live, breathe, think, speak, exclaim freely, like all other humans around me do about their desires, feelings, fears, sorrows and joys.
Too long I have been too careful, too cautious, it's killing me on the inside, to think twice before I speak, act and overall live life.
This shall be my last whining post, here on I shall post about my life. The life of Anwesha (I chose this name cause it means- 'an explorer' in sanskrit and presently that is what I am! ofcourse it isn't my true name) the explorer is off now and the quest is defined!
So what do you think, will the explorer accomplish her quest?
