I dedicate this to you Firebolt and Embers, towards whom I do not have to pretend.
I pretend all the time,
I act, I build a pantomime,
I laugh, I care,
I love, I dare...
Each hour, each day,
I try that I may-
be to this world,
what it expects of me.
Yet, it is nothing more than a bribe,
to which by my own I subscribe.
Yes, it's my own doing,
yes, I've been all along knowing;
that a day shall come...
When I shall deceive none,
for so tired will my soul be..
It'll break into a 1000 pieces of me.
Only then shall I truly know,
how many will remain and
how many more forgo.
How many pairs of hands,
by my side will stand,
to render me into a whole again..
To shoulder my pieces
& be with me through my winters & rain
Till then I shall be a faithful mirror.
Showing 'them' all they want,
without any possible error!
-23rd Jan. 2011.
So yeah! that's me to the rest of the world who doesn't know the true me...I pretend to be an obedient loving daughter to my parents ( I do truly love them, then again I'm angry they don't realise that there are needs beyond just providing for your children )
I pretend to be a well behaved girl to the rest of my family so that my parents are respected in the family circles!
It's only with my younger cousins that I share my true life philosophies, not the gay ones ofcourse..
I pretend to be a good colleague. Always ready to be made fun of, like a jester to my acquaintances and office colleagues and most college friends, so they're cool with me. (half the times the jokes they crack are so lame, so I take that very topic to another untangible direction & am rewarded with loud guffaws, especially from my friend Smile)
So yeah, that's me in real life, I can put on an act pretty easy, actually that's what I am doing most of my living breathing lifetime!
It has become second nature to me. The very moment that I am with anyone other than myself, it's like a switch is turned on or off as per the social setup surrounding me! Actually thing was that I feared that the second nature was getting over capricious and that's why I gave my true self a chance before it was murdered completely & no one would even come to know! What a weird idea, but you know what?
It is true!
