I wanna write..

Among the many things that I have been told to follow as a rule to help discipline my life, I find that to date many have been disregarded absolutely and sacrificed on the altar of modernity while, such which could not have been done away with completely have been modified to suit convienience after having been declared as obsolete.


I find myself thus under substantial conflict whether I should therefore, proceed to follow on or, upturn all civilities inorder to establish my own little niche.


Over the past many months I have allowed my blogspace to suffer in the absolute absence of any going ons in its author's life, but I intend in the near future to abstain from any more of such practices. 


To redeem myself from the ongoing conflict, I shall presently be making a few important announcements. 
It brings me great pleasure to declare that in the near past I have achieved (by the grace of god and the efforts of many around me) circumstances that will definitely provide any individual of my standing, much to rejoice about.

• I have started my journey in the field of publishing, at present I write for the business-to-business publication industry. It has taken me some time and a lot of patience, along with a great number of blessings and goodwill I am sure, to have reached my current position. (I'm told that it is quite difficult for freshers to be allowed a position in business writing, let alone editing.)
  
  
• I passed my second semester of MA in Mass communication and journalism with distinction (81% in the first sem and 83% in the second sem to be precise). I still ask my mum to take a week off during my exams, tagging along with her to the exam hall. She awaits my return after the exam in the waiting room  at the exam hall. Am worrying bout the next sem. I have turned in my assignments with some difficulty, the studying is yet to begin.
  
  
• I have learnt to express myself, finally! This achievement which may sound like the least of things is nevertheless most important to me. My expressions will now dictate the terms of my life, or rather help me live life on my own terms. It feels really good.. I have finally come out to two of my family members, my sis and my mum, in that order precisely. More about that in my next post.
  

P.S. I've so far been elusive, superstitious even.
        I wanna live now, spread the horizons a nick wider,
         I wanna write now and be like this, be myself forever.

Showdown with my Sis!

I write, right now as I speak to my sister after a period of 3 days.

Three days ago at around four am in the morning, I came out to her. She was dumbstruck and told me not to be mad, also she mentioned that I must not say things due to outside influence, or cause someone said so. Also she asked me who was my partner and when I replied I hadn't any she again reminded me not to be an ass. After that she went off to sleep asking me to go to sleep too as she had school next morning and I had to go to office. For the next three consecutive days we only looked at each other staring and moving on.

I felt that if she didn't want to come forth and ask me or tell me anything, then I had nothing to say to her either.

Today finally after my friends Smile & the Bollywood chatter box, told me that I was totally being an ass with mad cow disease, that I decided that I must talk to my sister. Upon returning from office, after my sister had, had her dinner, I indicated to her to come to our room. She did. I asked her if she wished to speak to me and after a mutual disagreement over the fact that we were totally being asses, we shared a hearty laugh. She tells me about the farewell they gave to their seniors from standard 10th (She is currently in STD 9)

After a lot of freaking out and calling me- "Are you mad?" for the umpteenth time and saying things like- "What are you gonna tell our dearest parents and what about the rest of the world and just imagine granny's state of mind when she comes to know! I calmly replied, "Yes, each one of them is going to be in one word - SCANDALIZED!" Think about it again, my sister continues with her rants; how will you live alone and who will be there to take care of you, imagine what people will say to our parents. She gives me the example of a maternal cousin who decided to marry an out of the caste guy and she was strongly criticised (but that is because she married a drunk who is a kind of douchebag, all the while thinking that she could save him and all that sorta thing… I wonder sometimes why some girls have this 'go save the guys and they will change after marriage attitude')

I understand that she is apprehensive, she is totally scared shitless. She worries, she frets, she wonders whether I can change!

Finally she gives in and says, I am with you whatever  it is…!

I breathe free, I now have an ally on the home base.