A Stray Song

I love sitting on the stairs and watching the hustle and bustle of this great city, as people pass by doing what they think they must. 
A few days ago, I sat just like that; while I sat staring at the monotony of human routine, a stray K9 came up to me. I got a packet of biscuits from the general stores right outside the building gates and sat back offering it to the dog, and the stray dog offered me the random rhyme written below...

This picture of a stray was taken at Alibaug last year. This ain't the stray that helped me with this random rhyme. I was so busy typing out the words on my mobile that I forgot to photograph the stray doggy, and by the time I was done typing, the doggy had long gone...

I bark, I scare, I howl,
you pass me by, as u see me scowl..


You see me as you rush by,
on the street as I lie..


Watching you hurriedly walk,
and at times I choose to stalk..


As you wave a shooing hand,
I'm hoping if a chance I stand..


That it might be your happy day,
and you might feed a starving stray..


Most often I get kicked at,
I don't think too much, I leave it at that..


But seldom does a caring soul,
come along with biscuits and a milk bowl..


I jump, I wag, I prance around,
not for the food, but my love newfound..

I remember myself as a lil puppy,
all the love, kids, & once again I'm happy..


Those were the best days,
of my life as a stray..

All I now wish is, for a biscuit or two,
a pat on the head instead of a 'shoo'...

How I feel about you...

If only you knew,
How I feel about you...
You make my day woman
and go away whenever I do,
I don't know how I shall live without you...


I know its true,
that's what I feel bout you.
I hope & pray that you do so too...

I am just a kid...

I am just a kid, 
I know nothing about anything.
you may ask me about the math and tell me about the planets,
you might try interesting me in the arts or bore me about new gadgets...


What care I about your sciences, math or arts...
I see the sun set in the west & in the east it starts,
I feel the call of the early birds twittering away for a worm
and that is music enough for me to last me any storm.

I have seen the turtles lay their eggs, when they feel to watch there is none...
and I have seen the crocs dig there by till all I counted was- one.

These are my friend's pet turtles

Yet, I have counted him amongst the hundreds that have hatched on that turf...
and make a run from the beach and through the sand to reach the surf.








Such uncountless things consume my thoughts,
whatever I have learnt, to me nature has taught.
Hence, do not seek me amongst my kind,
The true me, there you shall never find.
for I am just a kid,
I know nothing about anything...

Random Rhymes- I wanna run away

I wanna run away, on a rainbow to a place full of bright 
sunshine, where the flowers bloom and it never is twilight!
a place where you just can't define 
and yet everything is align
to the rays of sunlight cutting out of the skies
eclipsed by the clouds' dark ties.


Where the dew seems to linger
a little bit longer
despite the breaking dawn's
might, to send it away from the leaves and lawns.


I wanna swim away to sunny shores lonely
from the human touch, to watch the surf idly
as I sit back in the warm golden sands
and feel it slip through my hands
while I watch the moon take its place
besides the stars and planets from outer space.


I wanna fly away to alcoves in
the snow peaked mountains, for a spin.
Watching the one place on earth that will not be fenced
for security, for defense, for offence or any other pretense.

I wanna be away
from the illusion of control in anyway


-17th Feb. 2011.


I've been busy with nothing lately, everything seems to be hazy, muddled up, a lot of new topics are brought into my conscious, I think of various new topics to post on my blog but never end up writing them.


Am down with a bad cold.. that is the only health related problem that can actually make me freak out.. I don't mind being cut, scratched, burnt, any sort of aches, but Cold.. I mind very much... it kinda chokes me.. I have had this little bronchital thing in my childhood and it hasn't really gone away. Alright, I have bored you enough with illnesses, I actually hate talking about not being well. If ever I am unwell no one ever knows unless I am in a critical life or death situation in which case the poor doctors are trying to set me alright and that is about the only info you will get related to me not being well.


Yeah I hate being weak, I never complain about illnesses and if I am too bad, you simply won't see me cause i will be cooped up in my room and take an off from whatever is up for that day.. so no one has really seen me lying down .. complaining or cribbing about not being well or stuff like that.


So yeah, that's the reason I haven't been around my virtual space for such a long.

Random Rhymes... I Pretend

I dedicate this to you Firebolt and Embers, towards whom I do not have to pretend.

I pretend all the time,
I act, I build a pantomime,
I laugh, I care,
I love, I dare...


Each hour, each day,
I try that I may-
be to this world,
what it expects of me.


Yet, it is nothing more than a bribe,
to which by my own I subscribe.
Yes, it's my own doing,
yes, I've been all along knowing;


that a day shall come... 
When I shall deceive none,
for so tired will my soul be..
It'll break into a 1000 pieces of me.


Only then shall I truly know,
how many will remain and
how many more forgo.


How many pairs of hands,
by my side will stand,
to render me into a whole again..
To shoulder my pieces
& be with me through my winters & rain


Till then I shall be a faithful mirror.
Showing 'them' all they want, 
without any possible error!


-23rd Jan. 2011.


So yeah! that's me to the rest of the world who doesn't know the true me...
I pretend to be an obedient loving daughter to my parents ( I do truly love them, then again I'm angry they don't realise that there are needs beyond just providing for your children )
I pretend to be a well behaved girl to the rest of my family so that my parents are respected in the family circles!
It's only with my younger cousins that I share my true life philosophies, not the gay ones ofcourse..
I pretend to be a good colleague. Always ready to be made fun of, like a jester to my acquaintances and office colleagues and most college friends, so they're cool with me. (half the times the jokes they crack are so lame, so I take that very topic to another untangible direction & am rewarded with loud guffaws, especially from my friend Smile)


So yeah, that's me in real life, I can put on an act pretty easy, actually that's what I am doing most of my living breathing lifetime!
It  has become second nature to me. The very moment that I am with anyone other than myself, it's like a switch is turned on or off as per the social setup surrounding me! Actually thing was that I feared that the second nature was getting over capricious and that's why I gave my true self a chance before it was murdered completely & no one would even come to know! What a weird idea, but you know what?
 It is true!

Random Rhymes... - I am what I am.

I am what I am

and most certainly it will not do.

But would it not be better if I were to split myself in two!

As confounded it may seem

A dastardly thing to do

What matters ask I

For it isn't to me a thing that’s new

Every living day

Every human hour

I breathe, I think, but I do still act

That it is not me, that is a fact

What think I might

With all my sprite

But thinking is where the buck stops

For I CAN NOT let it, but rot

Inside of me struggling with all its force

I fear it might just make its way out

and take its own course

But what will it find…

acceptance? Never for its kind

in my words is where it will find

as day after day i follow this sham

to split myself, from

what is me, and what I am !

-  17^th Dec. 2010.

So yeah, I wrote this sometime ago, before I had decided to live, live for myself. But since then it's been a long time, and I am miserable, I lock myself in my room daily, and try to explore myself, as to what I am?, what exactly I want from life, how it is going to affect my peers. It is horrid, my moods, my thought process that is, seems to be going nowhere, I am more indecisive than I ever could be, if only Sree was with me...

Mom says that I look like I have just emerged out of a grave and that I should tidy myself up. But this time around when I look into myself and try searching for the strength, I just don't find any. Once again my thoughts shift to suicide and, but, no I am certainly not a coward. It's just that at this moment I am not thinking straight... ha ha.. like I ever will!

Yesterday, I came out to an office colleague cum friend, lets call her Smile, that is one attribute in her that is never outdone. She was really all cool about it, but how does it really matter, ok so now one more person knows my true identity. I still wonder how she was able to coax me into saying it, but then I guess I really was in a dark mood since a very long time and couldn't really help it, and yes, I trust her. 

In the past there were people who I have told about my true identity, and thought that they might help me evolve, but I guess that just doesn't happen. For a while, they are curious, they ask questions and then I am left to pretty much myself, cause my world is different from their's and well I'm too shy to go find myself a best friend. Although I guess that's exactly what I need now.

Anyways, I am thankful that I have a blog atleast, where I can say all this and more...

Random Rhymes...

I write I tear,
I hardly do care,
for there is no one to share.
Then why should I bother to dare?


Put in black and white,
only to put it out of sight,
For I can neither call it my own,
but nor can I disown.


These very words of mine,
beseech me all the time.
Wanting to be heard & responded,
unstoppable, untiring, undaunted...


What do I do?
My options are but very few.
But this time around I shall befriend the new!



Thank you for having read my Random Rhymes. In everyday life I keep writing such untitled random rhymes, but never do I allow them to be read, except to the one I have dedicated.

This one is dedicated to my new acquaintance Firebolt, due to whom I have started on a new quest, rather than thinking of  ways to suicide (not inspired by Ethan Mascarenhas though!)

All the same this is my first Random Rhyme on my blog, hope you enjoyed it, for there are more to come...