Not exactly envy nor possessiveness...

..

The fact that her friend is going through a major transition in her
life gladdens me, while at the same time leaves me disheartened. For I
remember a time, when I was involved in drawing a little smile on her
friend's face through my genuine flattery and a few humour-worthy
one-liners.

Fate however had other plans for the friendship between me and her friend.
There was once a time when I awaited her return from her friend,
waiting late into the night & seldom falling asleep as she returned
from her only close female friend on campus.
Then there was a time when I expressed my true admiration for her
friend's writing skills. Her friend truly has an amazing knack for
writing adjectively effective descriptions of all experiences through
her writing.
Then there was a time for envy and a fair bit of possessiveness as she
thought and assumed that I loved her friend more than her!
Then for a yet unknown reason, her friend refused to accept my
existence in her life.
For long hours have I suffered my mind to try understand what might
have led to her such behavior towards me. I have done no ill towards
her, and so I have no reason as to why she refutes my existance. I
have always respected her in all possible manner, yet..

Today again I felt disheartened by the thoughts of her friend, I felt
displaced without her presence although it was for a few hours. I
wished her good night though I had not slept, because I had no good
word to offer her.

Why do I feel this way? What do I do about it?